can bad taste in music ruin a relationship?

I say: YES! (my own experience, have had a girlfriend, that gave me back rubs, but with commercial music taste…:wink:

the article:

Does the musical taste (e.g. techno, hiphop, classic) of your relationship make you smart or stupid?
And can bad taste in music ruin a relationship?
What´s your opinion? (seriously meant)


If she couldn’t join me on this level …
She couldn’t have me at all

Hi Central

First off: This picture on that blog you linked to captures what dancing was for me. It also gives a kitsch but nonetheless acceptible representation of the soul of musical/artistic union I demand.

I don’t care tuppence what STYLE, because I have from my earliest musical moments ‘surfed’ style and culture. I never identified exclusively with one, for it is how they linked, which I noticed most as I auditioned them as vehicles for what messages I might wish to convey. From about age 6 I ‘knew’ that ‘Gregorian Chant and Heavy Rock/Metal’ are the same thing. Bach and Steve Hackett too, though they were borne into different technology. Similarly Rap/HipHop and traditional endless-folksong-with-drone-accompaniment. I would deliver my message in the language of the culture in which I happened to sodjourn.

I happen to think that my ‘All Style’ style-preference/‘autism’ is just another orientation. Those people who demand compatibility in terms of ‘one’ or 'few styles … make perfect sense to me. The feeling is often not mutual, which to me, again, makes perfect sense when in situations of potential romance. However, when friends and acquaintances get all butt-tight about it in variations of “One Way - One Style”, I feel like cooking up some fish and setting it beside their bowl of milk.

Glyn, lol, that was one thing that helped end my last relationship. I still Tango, she does not and returned to Salsa. Totally agree with you on this.

If that were true no one would get along with their kids … .oh wait!

Hey Tom … she lost out. Salsa. Hrumph.
Here’s Harriet and me doing a less acrobatic, but still heartfelt Argentine Tango.

If it’s just a relationship, then any excuse will do. On the other hand, if it’s love it will be worked out.

[Glyn, great photos!]

LOL – here again we have something 100% in common. Some of the best times I’ve had was going to a club and watching both truly bad and truly good dancers. But you’ll rarely get me out on the floor :slight_smile:

Gly, I have seen your picture gallery - wow, nice fotos, photoshopped them?
Tango and Salsa are the most erotic dances, I love this body movements, sizzling erotic, veeery sexy women with short tight-fitting black clothes…
But you will laugh, in my youth I also have danced, more moderate and just for fun, and - of course - to flirt with beautiful girls (hey, It had worked!) :wink: Mostly we have danced Latin and Standard Waltz (in the rotations I always get sick… :mrgreen: (<- nearly this skin colour, no kiddin´!)
Long ago. I remember it very well.
And Gly, great photo with you two!

Nice piccie. I am still advancing… still advancing. Meeting up with a woman tonight that wants me to show her some tango… :wink:

Salsa was OK. I actually met my last girlfriend out dancing Salsa. Hmm. Salsa is very “boxy” for me, an outside the box type of person. Not only her, but all the people I have met out tangoing have a much different personality type then all the salsa people I know (in general).

Re: Music… My last girl listened to salsa music 90% of the time. Definitely not my cup of tea. I get really really bored with it after a while and it all starts sounding the same. Tired of listening to songs about burritos! Was another difference we had… Still friends with her even though we had some core personality differences, dance and music being 2 of them that were unable to be bridged… :slight_smile: The new women I have met recently have taken the best of my last relationship and have brought it to an entirely new level. Nice knowing I am growing toward a masterpiece of connection. I just have to get them comfortable with singing!

Heck… my wife is Chinese :confused: Have you ever listened to Chinese opera ??? :astonished:

Sounds like we’re doomed… :frowning:



And can bad taste in music ruin a relationship?


What´s your opinion? (seriously meant) is nonsense.

Great topic…

I’ve known my wife for over 20 years.
She’s a school music teacher and I’m a wannabe… :frowning:
She loves Abba and I can’t stand them.
I love the celtic style and she calls it “old fart music” which is a bit rich coming from an Abba fan…
She does Salsa and Zumba and I have 2 left feet.

However, we both love music…our relationship started through our music related activities. But it grew into something much bigger than that, and certainly much bigger than our divergent musical tastes.

Hi Central :slight_smile:

Tango, waltz, foxtrot and quickstep were what we concentrated on.
Tell me … the waltz that made you dizzy - was it a quickish 180BPM oom pah pah where you spun 180 degrees per bar? If so, that’s the Viennese waltz and my goodness, you’ve got to reverse the direction of spin a few times during it, otherwise you get the phenomenon you mention. Also, when the music stops, you’d see couples falling over or staggering into the spectators. The Standard waltz at around 90BPM can have similar, though less pronounced effects if there is no reversal of turn.

Like Celtsound says, and I agree - this is a great thread. I reckon you’re opening up a magnificent LOAD of stuff. You sure shook ME up when I saw it. I can’t accept the ‘scientifically proven’ aspect, because as quite a few people here are saying in their posts, love does, can and should be able to transcend differences at this level. My own ‘way’ gives the appearance of some flexibility, but I’m STILL sticking a bandwidth cap on how and whom I will love. Will I move beyond this? Will I even want to?

Tom I wish you well with each and every tango lady. You say of the salsa “BOXED IN” … I’ve done a bit and have watched a lot and … heck yeah. In Salsa - I’m see a limited number of sexual and romantic expressions crushed like in a jack-in-the-box, where the coils are dense - TOO dense to pick up some of the essentially ‘long wave’ signals of love. Tango, however, allows a room-covering stalking and hunting of all colours and depths. The blazing fires and rapid movements are still there, yet are springoarded, energized and focussed by the TEASING build-ups and wind-ups. MAN … some tango is like a bowstring being slowly drawn back … the wood of the bow creaks, and you protect your eyes in case the thing snaps, until, just as you are sure the world has to either stop or explode - The Arrow Flies. This might be three contrapuntal snaps of the head, it might be the partners’ legs and feet flicking and rubbing like 69 end-game. Salsa and Tango are both climactic, but in Tango, the climax is enhanced and dignified by the foreplay. It becomes an act of Calligraphy rather than of Ariel Bold. Yes, there are jack-in-the-box elements, but they are never the be all and end all, they are but a nodes in an infinitely bigger energy. When we dance Tango, the dancehall becomes our Universe, and this Universe is our playground, battlefield, cathedral, bedroom, altar and tomb.

Central - I’m bringing myself back to the nub of your topic:

If I were potentially going out with a woman who Salsas, I know she’d be at first base by default. She WANTS to be musically active. Second base would be that she have some level of competency - she knows it well enough to be worth my time to learn it in order to be with her fully in her ‘energy world’, that she and I may generate and experience each others moving harmony. Third base - important, but not a deal breaker - that she enter into and extend to share the styles I have brought, the specific octaves of energy I introduced to the relationship. I apply the identical principle regarding a woman who sings and/or plays instruments.

As I hinted above, I take no sense of pleasure, pride, however, or righteousness. Except when I am in the company of a woman who happens to share my commitment to ‘multiple contact intimacy,’ whereby consciousness and biology are amplified a thousand fold by conversing fluently in these more-than-verbal languages. Art such times, I can know no other truth.

Celtsound! You and your wife :slight_smile: Celt vs Abba :smiley:
Memories of my mom and dad locked in Mortal Kombat regarding use of acrylic versus oil paint.
Heads and tails of the same priceless coin.
Bless you both.


I for one can say that our music taste has caused our relationship.
I am from germany, my wife from austria. We learned to know each other on the australian Frenz Of The Enz forum (Split Enz, Crowded House, Neil Finn, Tim Finn, Finn Brothers board) where she asked for a vhs copy of an old MTV Most Wanted weekend with Crowded House that I had recorded. This was in 2003 and now we are married…


There’s an old saying. “Golf is like sex - you don’t have to be good at it to enjoy it.”
Glyn, would you say this applies to the tango?
I’ve never been a dancer, but after reading these words I sure wish I were!

Hi Lenny

You don’t have to be good at it to enjoy it … but think of your early days of playing bass … heck I bet you enjoyed it a lot. Now you look back and honour that past enjoyment … knowing full well that that was the real enjoyment of the caterpillar whereas yours is now the real enjoyment of the butterfly. The caterpillar cannot know this. Remember the understandable and necessary fumblings of your first sexual experience and contrast it with the adeptness and sophistication you later acquired. Those early days were, I am sure, enjoyable but yet blind as to what lay ahead.

I’ll never forget when Harriet and I first got the ‘swing’ of the waltz. It was at a competition in Egham, Surrey. From tiptoe poised, then imperceptible topple into a swooping dip which covered much ground before gathering back to a static peak which might travel further, or plunge into and ‘A Line’ … the waltz version of that pose we’re in that picture I posted, in which our heads an upper bodies would be seemingly leaning away from each other whilst that leg-base remained stable.

On viola and violin - my closest analog to your fretless bass - there is that pluck then slide, or the feel of doing a micro-slide up to chosen pitch before engaging into a slow vibrato … THOSE finesses you GOTTA be good to enjoy, and the enjoyment when you do it just right is a different order of pleasure than ‘getting the note at all and kinda in time’. It is an enjoyment which only exists when the other stuff has been integrated.


CENTRAL … my lady HAS to make some sense of this, or I am alone.

Thanks for your perspective, Glyn.

BTW - that’s an outstanding shot of you wth Harriet. You two look dashing.

I play golf once or twice a year… another thing golf and sex can have in common! :laughing:

Does bad taste in relationships ruin your music? Or is that a whole new topic? :wink:

Total Plus One to that, Robin. It’s because … heck … it’s because I witnessed that, that I chose my relationships the way I did.

[[[[[[[BTW … I, too, abhor the 3-level limit.]+1]+1]+1]+1]+1]+1] :ugeek: