Is you wife on a business trip as mine, and your find yourself all alone.
Make yourself a large a drink (you deserve it now (as always))
Find the cigar you have hidden from your wife, the kitchen I guess, can successfully be cleaned 10 minutes before she returns home.
When you sit there with the cigar, that you do not dare to fire up anyhow in fear of the smoke smell, with a glass in your hand and let your thoughts wander around essential world problems like:
a) “Why is the bottle empty already now?”
b) “Why do men have nipples”?
c) “Is there a robot that can clean kitchens?”
Then everything fits well with my new song HOME ALONE BLUES