I took a listen yesterday. The intro sounds fine.
I would have made that melody that starts at about 0:40 a little less straight. I’d have used syncopation.
I’d have tried to make the chugging, building section that starts at about 1:10 less march straight too.
But I’ll say that’s a matter of taste. A march like feel may have been what you intended. I notice stuff like this because after years of trying to write songs I was aware that my composition skills needed improvement, the sound of my music was often straight, bland, uninteresting, and I intentionally look for how I can write in more variation and more rhythmic interest.
Production wise, since you had me expecting a metal track, after it built, I was looking for full bore metal when you broke into the section at about 1:30. I was looking for more contrast from the buildup leading up to that.
As others have suggested, a tighter more up close ambience of the guitar would help there. Double tracking guitars is extremely effective. It makes them sound bigger than life and widens the stereo field.
I’ll second the others in suggesting that drums and bass could use more impact. That’s the sound of rock. Bigger than life.
But I will say the piece works very well as is, as a new age tune. I have heard new age pieces with heavy guitars in them, and I think the production in this piece would work great on a new age album. No sarcasm there. I love 80s new age and I’ve tried recording pieces in that style.