If we could

Hi, A song about our uncertain future and the choices we face.
If you take the time to listen I thank you.

Great work dude, the rythmic synth instrument + the voice gives a New Order vibes, personnal opinion. Good job!

Like this. Good feel. Liked the little break around 1:38. Nicely mixed too imho.

Da da da da da dat te da becomes a bit too much of a focus to me. It’s a decent song, but I think that part might need to vary a little more through and during the song. It’s a sequence of sorts that you’ve made a big element, but it almost became a little distracting and/or too repetetive as the rest of the song moved around it.
Perhaps leaving it out more, and reintroducing it might highlight other elements in the voice and music that are not as prominent with it being so constant. Just my opinion, and if it’s important to your vision of the song, keep it there, of course.
I will also mention that break that PeterCee highlighted. It kind of comes out of nowhere, and is so short, that my it made me wonder why it was there. I think something like that is a good idea, but I would work it a little more than you did, somehow. Possibly a repeat for awhile to let it sink in for the listener, or maybe a melodic or harmonic movement from your basic pulse into and out of the break?
Nicely sung, and recorded, by the way. Keep on creating!

Apreciate the listens and comments guys, particularly your in depth critique swetch, I’m always listening and prepared to impliment ideas that may be better than my own…cheers…

They always sound good, Kevin! That little thing at 1:38 made me sit up. I was thinking you should turn it into a little interlude, at least 2 measures, and you might also use it as an intro.

I kind of like the vibe of the song but it goes on non stop. I think it needs a guitar riff in the middle to close out the first half and lead into the second section.
Just my 2 cents worth.