Original lyrics:
"J’ai envie d’ouvrir un peu les fenêtres. De l’air. Plus d’air!
J’ais envie d’ouvrir mon être. O Père. Mon Père.
Je voudrais que l’on sache. De l’Air. Plus d’air!
Que de croire n’est pas une dure tâche. O Père. Mon Père.
Je mets en avant ce point de vue:
Que les cas mieux étudiés que les caractères,
Rien n’est peut-être aujourd’hui plus connu,
Que l’amour d’une mère et d’un père.
Je voudrais que l’on sache. De l’Air. Plus d’air!
Que d’aimer n’est pas une dure tâche.
J’ai envie d’ouvrir un peu les fenêtres. De l’air. Plus d’air!
J’ais envie d’ouvrir mon être.
Voilà le mot."
Lyrics translated in English:
"I want to open the windows a little. Air. More air!
I want to open my being. O Father. My father.
I would like us to know. Air. More air!
That to believe is not a hard task. O Father. My father.
I put forward this point of view:
That the cases better studied than the characters,
Perhaps nothing is better known today,
That the love of a mother and a father.
I would like us to know. Air. More air!
That loving is not a hard task.
I want to open the windows a little. Air. More air!
I want to open my being.
That’s the word."
Chillout genre, drums, piano, violins, synth bell, and accoustic guitar.
Kenneth, ta voix sonne vraiment boomy (sourde), comme si tu chantais dans un boîte, et ça nuit beaucoup à l’intelligibilité du texte, qu’on entend mal. Aussi, le mot «tache», dans le texte, sans accent circonflexe, c’est une vilaine tache sur une chemise blanche. D’après la traduction anglaise, on comprend que tu parles d’une «tâche», avec accent circonflexe, qui veut dire un gros travail à faire, voire une corvée à accomplir. Autrement, c’est tout bon.
Oui je m’enregistre que les soirs (sessions entre minuit jusqu’à se que je dors) après que le voisinage arrête son boucan et pendant que mes oiseaux ne chantent plus, donc je suis en général pas “chaud” durant mes enregistrement de voix. Aussi je m’enregistre sur mon portable. Peut-être le mois qui suis j’investirais dans un micro voix d’un fabriquant bien connus. J’avais déjà en tête de retravailler la voix de celle ci, mais je pense attendre le micro.
Merci aussi pour la correction de “tâche”. Une erreur d’orthographe de ma part.
Here is my post translated to English (Sorry for using a non English language in an English forum):
Thank you Joss_Scarlatti
Yes I only record myself in the evenings (sessions between midnight until I sleep) after the neighborhood stops all their noises and while my birds no longer sing, so I am generally not “warm” when recording my voice. Also I record myself on my cellphone. Maybe next month I would invest in a voice microphone from a well-known manufacturer. I already had in mind to rework the voice of this one, but I think I’m waiting for the microphone.
Thanks also for the correction of “tâche” (task). A spelling mistake on my part.
I really like the space and the musical atmosphere of this piece. The rhythm is good, the sounds interesting and the mixing is very well done. I totally agree with Joss. There would be an interest in making the voice more audible even if the cavernous effect is interesting and seems to stick to the musical genre. We must never forget that in a song it is the text that dominates, the voice becomes an instrument that must support it well. Moreover, this text is good, it deserves to be understood.
Thank you Rene_L, I really appreciate that my music please you.
Which parts of the lyrics are inaudible to you? I want to know, have your points of view so I can ameliorate that and render the cavernous effect more audible, because I agree that the last verse is even inaudible to me the lyrics writter.
Hi Kenneth,
I like the synths and guitar. They’re all clear, well mixed, and well recorded. I’d boost the bass a little, but that’s just my personal taste.
I found the drums to be a little problematic. The rhythm doesn’t sit entirely well, or as naturally as I think it could. It might be a quantizing problem, but as I hear it, the drums are too “choppy”. I’m not referring to “chops”, as in saying that a player has “great chops”. I mean that the basic part sounds a little unnatural in that there are slight pauses in the drums that aren’t very natural, and a little jarring. Maybe that’s what you wanted, and if so, that’s totally okay. I’m just thinking that the ryhthm could be rendered a bit more smoothly for possibly a better overall effect.
I thought the vocals were fine, by the way. They were actually kind of atmospheric in a good way.
John
I am French-speaking and it is not easy to hear the text of the song well. Without the text in front of me, I would have difficulty understanding all of what is said. As I mentioned the cavernous effect is nice, but the text should still be audible.
You are probably using reverb and delay. To make things audible, using a well-tuned Low Cut and increasing some frequency in the mid-high register of vocals and effects might help clear things up. Reducing some midrange frequencies might also help.
To sum up, do whatever is necessary to help the intelligibility of the text. A text as great as it is is useless if it is not well heard and understood. I believe this is in the area of equalization. Up to you.
Hum, wierdly my Cubase project I loaded have all the recorded vocals tracks deleted, I don’t know why, and working on 7 tracks in 10 days exhausted me at a point I don’t want to retouch it, evne if yeah, the bass could be a bit louder I agree.
Next thread I’ll make will be my complete 7 tracks album.
A very atmospheric piece remenicent of the concept Paris album by Malcolm Mclaren in 1994…particularly the track featuring Catherine Deneuve, for me, the rather frenetic drum loop throughout the track detracts from the atmosphere somewhat…
