[music - Skeletons]

http://michaelprivate.bandcamp.com/track/skeletons
comments and criticism, please

Skeletons

Endless darkness into light
Sound of rhythm in the night
Awaken flesh and marrow cold
Into life and love unfold
Pieces in the puzzle form
Like lightning in a thunder storm
The body sould and mind are one
‘Til darkness claims the skeleton

Rhythmic pulse so deep inside
Rises like the constant tide
Feelings that I can not hide
Are told in blind disguise
Inspiration comes to me
In my mind so carefully
Like the love you had for me
Unfolds before my eyes

I went down to the bottom of a hole
To see what I could find
There to my surprise
I saw an old friend of mine
He didn’t recognize me
As his sight was very poor
But he heard my footsteps coming
So he hid behind the door
I called out in the darkness
For a light to show the way
But he pretended not to hear me
Not a word did he say.

Endless darkness into light
Sound of rhythm in the night
Awaken flesh and marrow cold
Into life and love unfold
Pieces in the puzzle form
Like lightning in a thunder storm
The body sould and mind are one
‘Til darkness claims the skeleton.

Very interesting. I applaud you, Michael, for expanding out of your comfort zone and trying something different.
Cool ending! Were you mimicking the laughter of skeletons by sctatching guitar strings plus fx?
Very cool lyrics. The bass is a bit buried and non distinct, and again I’m not thrilled with the drum sounds.
The vibraslap is a very nice touch, but I think you take away from it’s effectiveness by having it hit at the end
of every line in the verse. Too predictable. You might try alternating it with some interesting synth effects or something.

Good work.

Lenny

Hi Lenny,

I appreciate your comments. I really needed a second opinion and yours is alway incite-full and to the point. String scratch, yeah skeletons laughing and a haunting graveyard sound.

I take to heart what you say about the bass, drums and slap - the bass gave me fits - the drums are an agonizing effort, but I Iove making the attempt.

Happy New Year my friend.
Michael

Hi Michael

I enjoyed this a lot. Loved the vibe and your vocal on this one. Different to what I’ve heard from you before. My favorite track of yours.

Cheers
Dave

Hi Dave,

Cheers on that beer you’re holding.
Thanks for the listen and your approval. I am going to spend some effort on a re-mix
as Lenny suggested the drums could be more dynamic, with a few variations on fills, etc.

Have a Happy New Year Dave.

Michael