The important questions thread

Let me kick this off with the following:

How do I convert Audio to Midi?

How do I use an EQ to control dynamics?

Is this falsetto or not?

USB/elicence not stored, please update so you can get a response :laughing:

Ah i’ve been waiting for this thread… perhaps someone can help me.

I’ve been trying to get an E-Flat kazoo for ages now! i was also after a jaws harp and an egg shaker in B but i managed to get those off ebay the other day.

I’m really stuck without the E-Flat kazoo though, it’s the yellow one if anyone has one lying around.

I will exchange for my dog/wife/a limited amount of sexual favours but only if they involve susan boyle and a bicycle pump!

thanks in advance! :wink:

i also like macaroons and thursdays!

Well, you might be interested in a product I’ve been considering: The Definitive Kazoo.

Here’s my planned sales blurb:

Ultimate Kazoo!

A 77.6GB sample library, sampling the world’s finest Kazoos.

A chromatic range of Kazoos from the incredibly rare C#0 Bassofundo Jericho Kazoo (A pristine black lacquered brass and ebony example from 1792) up to the tiny fragile 1.5cm long diminupiccolo voiced at Ab7 with a pure silver pipe and mother of pearl resonant membrane.

Each exquisite instrument has been sampled at 77 different breath forces and each velocity layer morphs seamlessly with the next using extensive Kontakt scripting. Recorded using the finest valve signal chain from a 1936 RCA 44BX ribbon microphone, and sampled at 192 Khz, in one of the world’s finest studios, you can be assured that every nuance of every kazoo has been faithfully captured.

A number of preset multi performances are available from delicate solo patches to the powerful 1000 Kazoo poly-ensemble, you are sure to find the ideal kazoo for your project.

Projected price: €/$1692/£1300 (Delivered on it’s own kazoo shaped hard drive)

Cowbell! More cowbell! :mrgreen:

I don’t own a Cubase! :laughing:

HAHA!!! :laughing:

But DOES it have the E-Flat yellow one?
Also… do you have any plans to include different membranes? i find the 112GSM little too soft within the full 172 piece kazoo ensemble, i tend to favour the ‘bitier’ 90GSM membrane but there are very few players with the correct embouchure skilled enough not to destroy it with spit… about time they introduced a spit valve too imho!

I take it the hard drive will also act as the dongle?
would you like the wife/dog or sexual favours? i have susan boyle on msn now and the bicycle pump is warming up as we speak :wink:

Susan’s on the Boil, yer pump’s warmed up, and all that’s needed is a spit valve :sunglasses:
I’m sure that will move Tones’ frozen parts.

My question is when will “The definitive Kazoo” be released as a group buy?
I Believe Gazoobase will be part of Cubase 6 as another integrated VSTi
I wonder … is there a ‘gazoo midi-controller’ in development?