Out there - someone is dying, among the twisted trees
She’s walked too long, then she crawled - on badly bruised knees
Along this stretch cracked skulls lie - death on every face
Reminding us, that hell dwells in this dark place
Shadows with no sound
Drive her to the ground
Awaits her fate at
Valhalla’s cruel gate
Can you see her, hear her, look at the state she’s in
Can you see her, feel her, just look at the state she’s in
He grips the wheel - too tight, bony knuckles white
Staring out into the night, headlights burn so bright
Wishing he was somewhere else, not driving in the dark
As black crows fly high above, waiting to make their mark
A tortured lost soul
For whom the bell tolls
There’s no debate at
Valhalla’s cruel gate
Can you see her, hear her, look at the state she’s in
Can you see her, feel her, just look at the state she’s in
He pulls over, when he sees her lying by the road
She whispers a song, not too long, no one could ever forebode
He feels her breath - leave her, now he’s standing alone
Now he must leave her, whereabouts unknown
Death she can’t cheat
On that dark street
Laying in wait at
Valhalla’s cruel gate
Can you see her, hear her, look at the state she’s in
Can you see her, feel her, just look at the state she’s in
Can you see her, heal her, just look at the state she’s in
Music sounds great - vocal is a bit shy - clearly lack of confidence with the singing - but - you could try dirtying the vocal a bit. Good work though. I’m an awful singer (much worse than this) so I’ve got lots of these issues with my own stuff!
Music is well played but I detect an overuse of VariAudio pitch correction on the vocals. When I first got Cubase I admit I used it heavily because it was new technology to me. After a few productions I realized it was best to get the vocal as right as possible plus I felt like I was cheating and it was making me lazy when I should have been pushing myself as an artist. When not used subtly it can sound cheesey. It works for some songs if intentional but not a track like this. Although the mix is good I think it could use some overall eq’ing. Sounds a tad muddy in my headphones and monitors…at least to me it does. Some of this is preference of course but the purpose for posting is for feedback, so there you have it.
Very different for you Sherz and I have to agree with the others - vocals could’ve been a bit better in the mix.
Surprised me actually because you always come up with such solid, near-perfect mixes, so I must assume it’s on purpose to suit the mood of the track.
And if you ever remix or redo it please change the badly bruised knees to (you being an ex-UK guy) the old fashioned “bruis-ed” knees - it’d sound so much more Valhalla-ish !!
Neil
Thanks for the comments chaps. Seems like the vocal is a bit of a weak point on this one… wrong key. I’m going to shift the whole thing up a step and have another crack at it. A trial runs suggests I’m much more comfortable one semi tone higher, the the highest note in the chorus is a stretch
I couldn’t really pick anything that was standing out to me in the lead vocal, but I wonder if it’s the harmonies where you’re mostly hearing it? I deliberately went for the ‘vocal tuner artifacted’ sound on them. Anyway… it’s all rather moot now.
Seems like the vocal is a bit of a weak point on this one… wrong key. I’m going to shift the whole thing up a step and have another crack at it. A trial runs suggests I’m much more comfortable one semi tone higher, the the highest note in the chorus is a stretch 