Battle for Blue Sky

Steinberg Lounge
1

This song continuously builds to the end.
Hope you like it.
http://jrlmusic.bandcamp.com/track/battle-for-blue-sky
Comments welcome.
Sincerely,
J.L.

2

Good concept. A couple of thoughts:

  • You’re trying to set an ambient mood. You need to have some reverb and delay. The dry sound conflicts with what you’re trying to accomplish.

  • The muted guitar is far too loud. It’s supposed to add to the sound not be the focus of it.

  • The drums are too soft. Don’t confuse this with the percussion that comes in at 2:15, which is too loud. Prior to 2:15, the drums aren’t too soft - they’re way too soft. If I were you, I’d split the drums into 5 tracks: kick, snare, toms, hi-hat, and cymbals so that you can add automation to each to control the individual components’ volumes since, later in the song, the kick comes in nice and clear (well the beater does at least) but the rest of the drums (ride cymbal especially) are virtually non-existent.

  • The synth violin in the beginning needs to be replaced with a more electronic sound. It sounds like you were going for it, but because it sounds vaguely like a violin it ends up sounding bad.

This song has potential for sure.

3

Thanks for the tips Larry. I am still looking for the replacement to the strings at the beginning. I didn’t really like them either but got tired. I figured I would process it, leave it alone for a couple of days and see what people say. I really appreciate you taking the time to respond. When I get back to it, I will look into your recommedations.
Sincerely,
J.L.

4

I know you are going for a slow build, but the drums didn’t
come together (for me at least) until 5 mins in or so. :confused:
May I suggest two things to help. The hi hats over the
first two or so mins seem a bit confused and unfocussed to me,
and maybe you could at least add a beat with some drive
sooner than (almost) the end.