Classic rock ode to a motorcycle

My dad wrote these lyrics back in the 70’s but never wrote any music. I took up the challenge. Any advice on the mix would be greatly appreciated.

http://snd.sc/11NlLYe

Like the intro guitars panned to the left and right of the mix. Wow, and the surprise you throw in at 1:20 rocks !! Very creative! That’s the kind of thing that made some of the greatest rock bands so famous. Compliments to the guitar players, I think this piece will rock if you perform it live. Michael

nicely done rock song, like the very tight guitar work, middle bit is ok but too reminiscent of “bat out of hell” where they do more or less the same thing…but, hey…really good work…Kevin

The guitars are tight, nice work . It may have been the system I used for playback being a little light in the low end, but while all the instruments had very clear presence, I think the bass lines should be brought up just a bit. I liked it a lot. I relate a few ways…classic rock style which I love and I’m a rider. However as a motorcycle “enthusiast” I’ve not heard of a Hummingbird other than fishing equipment . Regardless…very nice collaboration decades apart

The opening panning is never pleasant when listening on headphones, a lot of bands have done it. Although it’s fine on speakers. I also think that the bass line is too quiet in the mix. The guitar part on the verse sounds cool.

The vocal and guitar unison at the end is very nice. The guitar at 1:20, and some of the end guitars parts sound a bit too staccato, the notes end too early before the next note. Some of the other faster note phrases at the end would also sound better more connected with less of a noticeable gap between each note. The phrasing and note choices are both nice. The bends and vibrato also sound good.

Fits right in with the genre you were aiming for so well done.

Thank you everyone for listening and commenting. I don’t bounce my stuff off many people so it means a lot when you take the time to listen and comment thoughtfully.
MFox: you flatter me. I am obviously influenced by all of the great rock bands so for you to compare my song is really a compliment. I wish I had a band to play my tunes live!
shadowfax: I have to listen to “Bat out of hell”. Maybe I was subconsciously ripping it off. I originally thought of laying in an actual motorcycle recording but thought I’d try the slide thing.
knuckle47: You and jonathan456 both thought the bass line was too low so I’m going to bring it up. I have a weird low end hearing desensitivity so I’m always guessing a little bit at how loud the bass should be. And FYI there is no such thing as a Yamaha Hummingbird 344. I think my dad liked the sound of it. If you look at my other tunes on Soundcloud you’ll see one called Advance Machine. It’s another motorcycle song I wrote a few years back.
Jonathan5456: I would agree with you about the panning IF it went on too long but I think the other guitar comes in on the right before that happens but I understand your point. I will raise the bass part. As for the “staccato” playing, I’m not quite sure what that means. Maybe that’s just how I play. The part at the end has me jumping around on the neck so there is some notes that end a tad soon so I can switch positions. I tried doing it in two parts but I’d didn’t like it. Thanks for all the compliments on my playing!

By staccato I just mean that the notes end too soon, in my opinion, before the next one is struck so they sound a little too separated. I’m specifically referring to the middle section and the runs of a few fast notes at the end guitar/vocal unison. The staccato notes in the phrasing is nice.

Great classic Rock tune! Now allow me to pick it apart :laughing:

guitars sound great, nice and tight and perfect voicings
cool lyrics
I like the middle part, too
I like the doubled/chorus on the vocal, evokes Beach Boys
bass is too low (as others have pointed out)

My biggest crit is the snare. I just do not like thin, poppy sampled snares on tunes like this. I’ll bet it’s Steven Slate, isn’t it. HATE that library. BTW, after I auditioned this fine tune, the Soundcloud player segued to the next one, which is even better than this one, but which has the same thin, snappy snare – YUCK! :laughing:

I know snares are a very personal choice – Ian, Jet, and myself have been trashing each other’s snare choices for years – but your choice here ruins it for me. I want a fat, 70’s-style snare here – think a similar Steve Miller, etc.

Other than that, perfect tune :sunglasses:

Thanks for the insightful critique twilightsong… I’m really glad so much of it is sounding good. I’m a guitar player first and foremost but I like to think I can program a pretty mean drum track. I like to program drums as if a real drummer was playing (I’ve played in enough bands to know what’s possible). That being said, I always have a problem with the drum sound. Like many others it’s the biggest challenge for me. I’m using EZdrummer with the Drums From Hell samples. The snare is a sample of 14" Pearl. I concede your point fully but so far it hasn’t kept me from purchasing a better sample library (Superior Drummer?). I also always think I might use Studio Pros to provide me a drum track but can’t justify the expense since it’s just for fun. I’ll do an alternate mix with the stock EZdrummer kit that has a big Ludwig snare…Thanks again for the listen!