Unless it’s a demo or guide vocal, I almost always take the time to de-ess manually, after all the lead vocal is such a big part of many productions, it is risking too much to compromise. In the editor, I usually cut out the sibilant and reduce its level and sometimes its length until it feels entirely natural. Often this is reversing the effect of eq and aggressive compression. I reduce breaths in the same fashion.
Most de-essers do a pretty good job and are ideal for example to de-ess a backing vocal group in a single instance. Cubase stock plugs are fine for this. My de-esser of choice is Sibilance by Waves. It seems less obtrusive than some in its action, and it is easier to find a sweet spot. It also has a lookahead mode to catch transients. I’ve no affiliation with Waves by the way.