Well, for my part I use Dorico with the “silent” preset as default.
I’m really not trying to be insulting, and we are veering dangerously close to that now.
I’m simply pointing out that you are frustrated because you are trying to force Dorico to work like other programs (Finale) and Dorico was designed to work differently from the beginning of its inception. This has led to friction for many first-time users. You said Dorico was “stupid” (your word, not mine). Dorico’s method is not stupid; there are good reasons behind it.
If you are willing to adjust your working habits and invest a little into how to use the program well, it will pay dividends. But as I said, rest assured, you are not the first person to express frustration with this new method of working. Most of us migrated to Dorico from Finale, Sibelius, or both. We all came with working habits and expected Dorico to behave as they did. It does not. This doesn’t mean it’s a bad program (and unless you’re a programmer, I’d refrain from passing too much judgement about C++), it just means it’s different.
In my mind, Dorico is a bit like a car with an automatic transmission; it can do a lot for you and do it well. If you’re a stick shift die-hard and that’s all you’ve ever driven before, driving an automatic feels weird. (and the reverse is true too)