Thanks for the comments. I have redone some of this after some of the comments and hearing it with fresh ears and a fresh outlook. The guitar arrangement is now very different but for now I have kept the vocal which I think fits better now. It was interesting to read previous comments because the vocal was very much in the vein of my vision for the song but I couldn’t get everything working as I wanted.
The idea for the song and inspiration for the chorus was to my wife for Valentines Day. I got sidetracked somewhere.
There are several tempo changes through the song, more than twenty. I started with playing a guide electric piano part and adjusted the tempo’s to fit.
Some of the guitars are recorded through a Peavey solid state practice amp I was fooling around with a few weeks ago that had been stashed in the loft. It was a nice change from using virtual amps or my pod xt. I need to sort out the string squeaks.
I have had a lot of indecision with the drums. I had three different mixes of the drums going at one point. Dry and small, then quite big with buss and parallel compression but settled on the way they are now which have some room sound but hardly any compression at all.
The high pitched lead synth at the start is meant to be set right back in the mix but I might have pushed it too low?
Lyrics
I was on the edge looking down
Morbid thoughts in my head
I thought that love was truly dead
I’d drink so much I could drown
Then you cam along
With a love so strong
And I’m drunk on your love
For you I would die
Or run a million miles
I’m drunk on your love
When your gone dark closes in
I get so close to giving in
I count the time for you return
My whole inside starts to churn
I’m drunk on your love
For you I would die
Or run a million miles
I’m drunk on your love
I’m wrapped up in your web
I’m caught up in your spell
Life without you would be hell
I’m drunk on your love
For you I would die
Or run a million miles
I’m drunk on your love
I need a drink, lol. really got the ian drury thing goin on. the mix sounds fine here, I think maybe a hammond type sound might be better for the keys part, so it could sustain somewhat with some leslie wavering in and out. other than that, for what it is, its there dave.
Definitely has that drunken feel to it. Truly personal feel about it; has a certain desperation. Drums maybe too spare, especially at the beginning? The mix does sound excellent. I’m no lyricist, but I thought “my whole inside starts to churn” sounded like “my hole inside starts to churn”, which threw me for a minute.
Well, hmmm… I’m struggling with this one Dave! I get the melancholic vibe in the verses - slow tempo, morose, drowning your sorrows in a pint - its almost bordering on suicidal even lol! But I really thought there should have been a more notable change of mood in the choruses. For me there’s an incongruity between the feel and vibe of what your singing in the chorus and the way its actually delivered. You mentioned tempo changes… I reckon the chorus “drunk on your love…” should be faster and feel more uplifting compared to the verses. If I understand your lyrics right then it seems the object of your drunken love was something of a saviour - someone who presumably lifted your spirits, raised you from your general misery and gave you hope etc and yet it’s sang in same kinda depressed way as the verse. Or maybe I’m just not understanding your intent?
You could be on to something with the organ. I do feel maybe there is some kind of glue missing. I did have an organ type part going at one time but I think I maybe pitched it too high. I’'ll give it another go.
I am quite pleased in a strange way the somebody isn’t positive. I have something in my head that I am aiming for but am not there yet. I am trying to get away from the more classic pop/rock/punk style into something a bit darker/arty.
I get what you are saying about the chorus. The idea was to be intimate rather than shouting from the roof tops. As I say above, I haven’t quite got what I want yet. That’s one reason I had problems with the drums. At one point I made them much bigger and also had big guitars.
Thanks for the comments. Your input is always appreciated.
I’m kinda with Ian here… not sure what to make of it – the lyric is “I’m drunk on your love” and it really DOES sound like he’s drunk! So there’s two ways I can interpret this: one, as a somewhat pessimistic and ironic take on two successive (but probably not unrelated) types of inebriation: alcoholic, then emotional… or: a failed attempt to express a new-found joy at being in love. I say “failed” because the guy certainly doesn’t sound all that happy about it!
Regarding the mix: I’d bring things in toward the center a bit more, and use some blend reverb to disguise the fact that it’s a bunch of overdubs
Thanks for the comments. I have redone some of this after some of the comments and hearing it with fresh ears and a fresh outlook. The guitar arrangement is now very different but for now I have kept the vocal which I think fits better now. It was interesting to read previous comments because the vocal was very much in the vein of my vision for the song but I couldn’t get everything working as I wanted.
I like it, Dave. Kind of a dreamy quality to it. The guitar tone/style fits nicely. I might try playing along to it on the bass just for fun to see what I come up with.
I’m liking these guitars a lot more Nice! For me I’m still feel there’s a need for a different mood to the delivery on the chorus’s - and you say you may re-sing this one so… ?
Will be interesting to see if Scott comes up with something for the bass… if not, always happy to ask my mate Shayne, he’s usually keen to put his distinctive mark on other peoples work!
If I do redo the vocals there won’t be much change to the style. It is not far from where I want it to be except I’d like to see if I can make it a bit stronger whilst retaining the feel I have.
I do appreciate this is not going to be everybody’s cup of tea. I guess the best way to describe the feel I am aiming for would be, while not the same, something in the direction of Wilco, Sparklehorse, Grandaddy, Midlake and like Wim suggests, Lou Reed etc.
I get the melancholic vibe in the verses - slow tempo, morose, drowning your sorrows in a pint - its almost bordering on suicidal even lol! But I really thought there should have been a more notable change of mood in the choruses. For me there’s an incongruity between the feel and vibe of what your singing in the chorus and the way its actually delivered. You mentioned tempo changes… I reckon the chorus “drunk on your love…” should be faster and feel more uplifting compared to the verses. If I understand your lyrics right then it seems the object of your drunken love was something of a saviour - someone who presumably lifted your spirits, raised you from your general misery and gave you hope etc and yet it’s sang in same kinda depressed way as the verse. 
Or maybe I’m just not understanding your intent?
