[music] (I don't wanna)Wake You

I wrote this in 1986 and never had a chance to record it.
Please, let me know how much of this I need to change.

http://michaelprivate.bandcamp.com/track/i-dont-wanna-wake-you

Overall I thought this was pretty cool wee tune actually. :sunglasses:

The intro was too long I think… I reckon you could cut it in half. Also I think the doubled vocal was overdone. It’s a nice harmony but to my mind it would be more impactful if it was used with a little more discretion - just on key phrases perhaps. That old ‘less is more’ thing. I like the various elements you have throughout the arrangement though some were rather synthetic sounding to my ears. The other thing I’d be looking at is looking at ways to develop and build more dynamics into the song - it was kind of samey all the way through.

But I have to say you write some good tunes and have nice arrangement ideas which I do enjoy.

:sunglasses:

Hi Sherz

thanx for the positive
I think a better drum track would add more dynamics.

As for the vocals, vocals are not easy from the get go. There is an interesting topic in the Lounge “How many vocal tracks…”. I’m sure you saw it. Anyway, it’s crucial to have good tracks, timing and tonality considered, and also to not be too strict to keep a natural sound. I am “learning” about reverb and delay, etc., and feel it coming together in some respects. I’m aware of the “sameness” problem, and I worked a lot of that out of this already. It needs the dynamics for sure.

Michael

hey michael, cool song and I’m hearing everything cleanly. reminds me of prairie music from here, all its missing is some violin bits in place of the string riff although its close to a violin sound.
I think its your style and it works. maybe the drum could be more responsive to the different parts, like switching to a ride cymbal for the chorus and a cymbal crash leading into some parts.
nice smooth morning listen man

yeh i like your songs ,ive only heard this one and "the drum " but they are realy good tunes. i think you should have put the low vocal right up front like you did on the drum and the high harmony behind it somewhere. yeh it would suit a violin like someone else mentioned, what was that instrument which played the riff melody ,to me it sounded like a cross between a distorted guitar and a violin,was it a real instrument or a vsti ,the reason im asking is because the strings didn`t have one bit of tremelo at all ,but great tune .

Bob-

Glad you liked it.
The violin “sound” is a Cubase cello. I wrote a simple midi riff in my notation software sort of as a placemark. It was accidently imported into Cubase with the bass track, and I liked it as a cello.

There is a bit of symbolism going on in the song and this repetitive cello riff adds to the tension building between my two characters- the girl, who is involved with the music only because of the guy, and she eventually gets tired of it all. The guy, who is a “hopeless” musician, dedicated to performing at any level, from a coliseum, and after she leaves him, to the bar scene on the weekends.

Yeah. Writing a drum track is more difficult than playing a full kit.

Hey Firestamper

Thanks for listening.

The riff sound is my Martin acoustic. I’m using the AMP simulator plug in and I forget what else. The rhythm guitar is also the Martin. The Martin is a D12-20 which I string as a 6. It is 42 years old and plays well, but not by itself. I have to do that. The vox and harmony is me. The bass, cello, organ, piano and sax were written in my notation software and imported into Cubase as midi tracks. The drums were imagined by a witch from Salem.

Hi Michael,

Nice song. Maybe you should work on the vocal sound, it’s misses high end, I think.
It sounds like your singing away from the microphone, especially the lead should sound more direct, IMO.

Good composition though!

Cheers,
Wim

Hey Wim

yeah, there’s not much presence there. It’s a trade off, maybe. I am learning delay and how to use less reverb. The result is too “brittle” for my taste, thus EQ. I’ll find a happy medium.

Thanx for the listen.

Michael

Here’s the deal. I love old rough cut pop/folk/rock. Bands like the original Fairport Convention, Curved Air etc… This song is perfect for that style. But, it sounds half studio, half rough live. So, it 's kind of like a live band trying to play to a click track. Which is probably why it loses some of the immediacy the song needs. Not sure how you would go about making the drums and the strings lick during the chorus less (recorded somewhere/when else) sounding. But, I think that would help the song a lot.

That is being hyper critical. The song is nice and easy to listen to, and I enjoyed it just like it is.

Hi JMCecil

You bring up an important point. First, I’m happy you enjoyed it. The song, as is, needs a boost dynamically.

I have spent many an hour with nothing more than my guitar in hand, playing in bars and clubs, not now though, and know first hand how to add dynamics with the guitar and my voice at just the right moment. That would make the song live. I don’t have that opportunity, or I just haven’t found it, when I’m recording. It’s impossible to record guitar and voice at the same time, and that limits my instinctive feel to blend the guitar attack with my voice. It’s awkward for me, singing with headphones on to a guitar track.

But it’s fun.
Thanx for the help.
Michael

It’s hard to give constructive criticism when I have exactly the same problems. Props for keeping at it.

I really really dig this tune. GREAT bass track – nice and solid foundation, really makes the tune. I’m not keen on the vocal treatment – they’re kinda set back and cold sounding. The drums aren’t bad at all, but do have a “samples” feel to them – not sure what to advise regarding that. To my ears, the whole tune is missing some top end… I’d run it through a gentle high pass filter and see if you can add a bit of sparkle to it

Again, love the song!

I have been flogged for using too much reverb and have been playing with delay, which is a whole different can of worms. EQ is easier said than done. Never had this much problem with tape, but then I wasn’t that fussy.

I am working on a new beast now. I will come back to this next and take it apart from the bottom up.

Thanx for the help.
Michael