This is a work in progress for a song I’m writing called torn heart. I’m looking for a singer to record the vocals as I can’t sing(!) They would have to sing where the violin part is.
The lyrics are:
You’re in my heart
Torn apart
Falls apart - wretched apart to see
Broken down
Mind’s not sound
Round and round
You’ll see - Fallen down
Twisted frown
Talking sound
I’ll be
Just dumbfound
Sorrow bound
Underground
Help Me!
Its love they say
Fades away
Far away - till the end of me
Turns around
Broken ground
Trodden down
For me - in my state
It Equates - illuminates
To me
Just profound
Lost and Found
Broken down
This song is in a very early stage. Maybe post it again when the composition and arrangments are done.
Also, I can’t figure out the words Vs Violin. Is it not possible to sing it yourself, doesn’t have to be good but more a guideline.
This is pretty good Rob. I’d turn off the click track now you’ve recorded it and replace it with some subtle drums. You sing to the violin part, where you’re “pitchy” use pitchshifting or some kind of autotune on the dodgy notes. Should perk it up some
Against my better judgement I have put up one with my voice on so that potential singers can see how the words will fit in. The sooner I get a real singer to do it the better for everyone
Of note is that both the drums and guitar bit at the end are likely to change as I want to turn it into more of a ballad.
I see where you’re heading and I generally like the composition but it does seem like the song needs a chorus, at the moment it just feels like a bunch of verses?
I also liked the original demo on soundclick violin, acoustic guitar etc - would be nice if this combo was more of a feature - perhaps intro/Verse1 and a bridge verse? Maybe bring the rest of the band in later… ? JUst some thoughts…
Sherz,
I think you a right about the chorus - but alas I don’t have a clue how to write these as all my previous music has been instrumentals. I know they should have a hook and generally be louder than the verse - but other than that…
With regard to the original demo, I have now remixed it with new drums and more emphasis on the violin. I think it now captures a lot from that demo, whilst adding the other instruments.
My big concern with doing just the violin and guitar is I might me in danger of introducing too much repitition. The main melody essentailly repeats continously - it is only the arrangement around it that provides the additional interest. That said maybe I’ll figure something out as there was a lot to be said for the original click track demo.
Hey, Nige is a good bloke, loves his Hawkwind and Motorhead
He’s too loud on this one though Rob, bring the vox down a few db so it sits in the mix better. There’s some boom in the mix too, sounds like the acoustic and bass are competing, I’d eq the acoustic and give the bass some space of its own.
Yes - Nigel is way cool! And very generous too - without his help my song would have no voice!
Thanks for the mixing advice. Its a bit late now, but I’ll have a look at it tomorrow. The boom is definitely from my acoustic guitar - looks like I will have to put some filtering on it.
I have now remixed it with Nigel’s voice more on par with the instruments. Have added some filtering to both the bass and the acoustic guitar - but alas - I’m mixing through a cheap pair of headphones So I can’t really tell whether I fixed the booming bass!
So I can’t really tell whether I fixed the booming bass!