After clicking on the wrong note, try using the up- or down arrow. If that does not select the other note, select a note to the right or left of the one you want (in the same voice) and use the left- or right-arrow to move to it. Hopefully it will select the right one. Temporarily move it up or down an octave (using shift + alt+ up/down-arrow), make the changes you want and then move it back to the octave where it was originally.
I rarely have any luck with the arrow keys unfortunately.
I was hoping for a more elegant solution than temporarily moving up/down an octave, but that works. I have not checked thoroughly, but was afraid this workaround would reset some tweak on the note that is temporarily moved out of the way.
When I can I do that to select the note in write mode and then switch to engrave mode. It’s cumbersome but it works.
The problem is if the note I’m trying to select is tied to another one. Then it selects all the noteheads and all I’ve done is transform the problem into a new one: now I have to deselect all the noteheads I don’t want.
I was asking for a more efficient way of doing this. That is, one that does not take a big toll on workflow speed.
You could try moving the other note up or down an octave. That way the note you are tweaking stays where it is and the “octaved” note has had no changes made to it, apart from the shift away and then back.