Guitars sound allright, it’s the vocals I’m not so keen on. They’re hardly distinguishable when the heavy guitar kicks in and I’m not so fond of the filtering on them either. I was hoping the song would pick up a bit more speed along the way, but the drums just keep playing the same bit over and over.
You can tell your guitar player he’s playing fine though, I’ve got nothing to pick on in that regard :smiley:

nice one Strophoid, to be honest the drums were from a cheap portable zoom fx only about £80 and all the guitaring was through the fx as well ,i have other units but he wanted to use his own lol .
Your defo right about the vocals they definately are in need of sorting , it was all just a ruff spur of the moment take ,so the next version will have proper drums clear vocals and a decent sound engineer lol .

version 2 will be along in a few days

cheers for your feedback

I just loved the guitar playing on that track…I’d give my right arm to play like that…er, ang on a mo…maybe not…

:laughing: :laughing: :laughing: he is a very good guitarist , i’ll do a studio version of the track and put that on here as a comparison (john likes his live tracks ). Considering he wrote ,played and song everything in 2 1/2 hours i think he has done pretty well , now it’s time to produce it a bit i think .

First off, I actually really liked the overall style and it’s on the right tracks! But it does lack a lot of things for me to want to listen to it as a commercial song.

I agree with the other stuff except the guitar actually. I’ve played Ozzy and Yngwie stuff live in my earlier days aswell as way too many hours practicing technical aspects of the shred guitar and the phrasing on the intro and bridge parts just don’t do anything for me as a previous virtuoso/rock guitar enthusiast and performer. They cut off too early and leave blank space when it should really be the 2nd half of the phrase leading into the verses. The first bend on the intro sounded great and spot on, although personally I’d add vibrato to the bend when it reaches the correct pitch, but the bends after it were just slightly off.

The solo has some really odd notes in there, that don’t even sound like they’re in key and could do with being changed to fit better. It could also benefit from using more of a pitch range from low to high and some fast runs in there to connect the big jumps in pitches. Nothing overkill or lengthy, but anything off the album No More Tears - Ozzy Osbourne should explain what I mean better than words. It just adds the energy that it really needs.

The low pinched harmonics did sound good for the style (Ozzy with Zakk Wydle) and they couldn’t have been played any better than they are there. But it sounded like there was just a tiny bit too much distortion on for it to be completely clear and to reduce handling noise of the fingers on the strings which is a bit irritating at parts.

The acoustic parts notes were fine, although honestly a little bland at some points. But the main problem is that they don’t cut through enough even when the distorted guitar isn’t there especially the lower notes aren’t really audible and the higher notes just don’t sparkle. I’ve never recorded so I’ve no idea how to even achieve the sound you have live to recording it so unfortunately I’m not much help there :smiley:

The bass guitar is way too quiet, what I could hear the notes were fine though.

Drums, same as the others, it just doesn’t vary enough in dynamics or in being interesting. If you listen to err, Dream Theater - These Walls and hear what Portnoy does with the hi-hats on the quiet sections it really adds so much. I know DT all studied at Berklee, although dropped out to tour, and are hall of fame musicians but really some of the best to pick up techniques from :smiley:

The synth strings could be arranged a lot better also, since they actually play some wrong notes or don’t change to new notes to reflect the guitar chords, but the way they stack up to make the chords just aren’t voiced vertically as well as they could be to get an optimal sound. If you get that sorted, even write it in an SATB 4 part way then it’d definitely add a lot to the sound.

The chords throughout are just a bit too repetitive and could do with a little variation, stuff like Road To Nowhere - Ozzy Osbourne from the No More Tears album would explain what I mean.

Overall dynamically it just doesn’t pick up much, I know rock songs don’t generally have a huge range of varying dynamics, but even small changes make a pretty big difference. And finally of course mastering makes a huge difference even to great mixes so it needs that too.

Good job so far and I’ll look forward to hearing the improved version :slight_smile:


:laughing: > > :laughing: > > :laughing: > he is a very good guitarist , i’ll do a studio version of the track and put that on here as a comparison (john likes his live tracks ). Considering he wrote ,played and song everything in 2 1/2 hours i think he has done pretty well , now it’s time to produce it a bit i think .

Err, and just to comment on that :stuck_out_tongue: I think he should spend longer composing the parts before actually mixing or even recording any of it, because as I said above the chords and melodies and how it builds just doesn’t do anything for us atm, despite the fact I’m really liking the style of the song so far.

Creating art/music is never a race, being proud of writing and recording in such short times is something I disagree with and I’d never mention the time I spent making the music as a point to be considered because it’s really irrelevant and personally I think when you state that it takes something away from the music from the listeners perspective D:

But still, I really do like the style of it so far so I hope he does go back to improving the compositional elements of it cos I’d love to hear a version with many hours spent on it and perhaps even have in my playlist.

Lot of stuff there from jonathan5456 but he’s basically right…

thank you for your feedback Jonathan5456 ,i do completely agree on a lot of points as well and i will get him round to read to comments himself (after all we are just hobbyists ) .
Your right the arrangment of the track could be completely reworked and the strings are going to be completely renewed as well and as for the drums well i prefer not to comment on the cheapo loop that was used lol maybe i’ll try some drum replacement and add some fills and rolls .
I know there is a lot of work to be done on the track before i even think about the mix ,that was the reason to agree to put in on my soundcloud for the feedback and comments and then take them all so i could do some justice for the guitaring in the remix

thanks again john