So… I did a deeper dive into my java settings, apparently it was set to use more ram than it was supposed to.
Changed java settings from -Xmx5G to -Xmx2G.
Now when I run the .exe, it DOESN’T show the error, but the application still doesn’t launch, using the .jar is no help either, I can’t get past that sign in page 
- EDIT
I FIXED IT!
I set the settings back to default, to -Xmx512M, and SDA FINALLY LAUNCHED
Exact steps to replicate the solution (win10): - Search for “Environment Variables” in the start menu search
- locate _JAVA_SETTINGS
- edit that setting to -Xmx512
- restart the computer
- launch SDA