You seem to misunderstand how the “-18 dB rule” is meant.
Meters have different ballistic behavior. Peak meters, RMS meters and VU meters may show the same value when feed with a steady sine signal. But when fed with real music, ballistics comes into play, and the displayed values may differ greatly.
The recommendation to aim for -18 dBFS originates from times when VU meters were commonly used. This means that you should not aim for peak values of -18 dBFS, but rather for the 0 dB mark of a VU meter that has a reference level of -18 dBFS. That is, a VU meter that shows 0 dB when fed with a sine wave of -18 dBFS.
As has been stated correctly, gain staging is not really necessary with DAWs that use floating point math. However, it is quite useful and I absolutely recommend it. Starting with tracks that have similar signal level, and a reasonable level in particular, is quite helpful. When the mix has been completed, your volume faders will all be in similar positions, not too far below the 0 dB position. Somewhere between 0 dB and -10 dB.
I have been using VU meters with good success for some time. One thing that I do not like about VU meters is that the needle is rather “nervous”. Sometimes it is hard to find out the proper gain setting when using a VU meter.
For this reason, I have now switched to RMS metering. RMS meters integrate the signal for longer time, and as a result they show a more steady signal. Instead of a VU meter, I recommend using an RMS meter and to aim for -20 dBFS RMS.
Try the free “K-Meter” plugin by Martin Zuther and set it to K-20. This will show the zero mark when the signal hits -20 dBFS RMS. The resulting signal level will be similar to a VU meter at 0 dB. With a sine signal, the level is 2 dB lower. With music, the signal is actually a bit louder than the one obtained using a VU meter.
On the master channel you may set the meter to K-14. This will give you a signal level that has similar loudness as commercial recordings.