Hello all,
This is one I’m working on. It’s intended to be the first track of a new album. I am planning to write three tracks on the History of Fire.
I played my classical guitar on this one. First time I’ve done that. I recorded it with a pair of Rode NT-5 omnidirectional mics. The electric guitar is my ES-335. I played the bass track as well. The other tracks are midi tracks.
Would appreciate constructive comments, and of course payback for any comments I made!
Best regards.
Hey Leon,
Intro: Based on your title + the few “noises” i’ve heard, i think you should have them in front, while the piano is rising from the background until the “real start” at 0: 20. perhaps you may use the same Percs/Toms you introduce in the end (3:30)
I would emphasis the Flute sound. Playing with reverb ???.
Middle of song (1:40) I really love the atmosphere created by the synth behind the guitars
at 2:47 : Let’s hear a panning between the 2 guitars (like left answering right).
my 2 cents.
Stephco, thanks for the detailed useful input. Very helpful! In my first version, I had a lot more “noises” in the front, but input from my first responders (family) was not positive. I’ll have to think about how to make it better. I had actually recorded a wood drill! Nobody had any idea what that sound was!
When you say you would like to hear a panning between two guitars, left answering right, at 2:47: At that point it’s guitar and piano doubling the melody, then a synth comes in an octave higher. Are you suggesting that I flip back and forth between the piano and the guitar?
Hello Leon,
Regarding the 2:47 thing,
Yes, flip back & forth, exactly! like mono L for Guitar or L80-R10 , then mono R for Piano or L10-R80 if stereo for Piano
Keep the Synth exactly as it is.
Nice composition, and nice feel throughout. I particularly liked your drum sound, and how you used dynamics towards the end of the tune. I think Stephco’s ideas all sound good, but I also think the tune doesn’t really need much work. It’d be nice to hear where it all goes in parts 2 and 3, when you get around to them.
Hi
I really liked this song. it really was telling the story of fire but I was seeing an animation instead of a film which is a good thing. I,like hko ,think the change in min 0:19 is a little abrupt maybe reducing the volume of the second part and increasing it gradually would help. t really was telling the story of fire but I was seeing an animation instead of a film which is a good thing 
Masoomi
Very nice piece. I would like to hear the intro developed a bit more/longer, now the change (at 0:19) in the beginning appears too abrupt and the contrast between the parts too high to me. The solitary piano chord or arpeggio in the beginning of the next part sounds too upfront (I would leave it out). I think the change between the different parts works better at the end of the piece (less contrast and no piano arpeggio between the parts).
Thanks, swetch, I am trying to work out part 2, but I am very slow at composing. Not that I don’t get a lot of ideas; I just don’t get many ideas that I like! I suppose we all have that problem! I come up with an idea, and pretty soon it turns into a trite and poorly executed copy of some other artist I like. I always want to sound original, but others will have to judge that.
HKO, thanks for listening. It’s really great that we’re getting more people here with constructive comments. There used to be lots of them. I’ll think about the making the intro longer. You’re right, it’s pretty short. The change at 0:19 is supposed to make you jump out of your chair a little bit. In fact, there’s a match strike sound effect on top of the chord. Maybe it’s too much. The piano part right after that is actually the melody! So maybe I should make it more interesting.
Masoomi, thanks for your comments! I always try to think of my pieces as telling a story. I’ve never been very interested in writing lyrics, so the music has to do it! I’ll give more thought to the intro. Thanks to all of your for the help!
excellent stuff Leon ,looking foreward to the next parts.
Thank you, Polgara. Might take a while!
better hurry up Leon we may only have while the back end of this year ,crazy gov people and wot not.
Sounds like a lot of time went into that, some really nice dynamics. I like how those phased guitars swirl around off the end of the beat.
Nice work!
Don’t like the high pitched downbeat cowbell thing, if that does come in, I would say try it in the acoustic guitar rhythm bridge sections or not at all.
An airier wind instrument sample is maybe needed and maybe try to find a more distorted and mid forward guitar lead sound… The composition is worthy to be played by real musicians.
2:25-2:30 could use some spice, in the drums or something, to transition into that final energy elevated run
other than that I think the composition is great
Hi Chubs, I appreciate the feedback, thanks for listening!
Hi Lovegames, thanks for your comments. They’re really helpful.
It seems I am the only one who likes that transition into the downbeat! In the revision I’m working on, I turned that down quite a bit. It’s supposed to represent the ignition of a fire in an exciting and surprising way. There is a matchstick sound effect on top of a dulcimer sample chord that couldn’t actually be played on an acoustic guitar, or should I say I couldn’t play it unless I used a very strange tuning! I’ll give that some thought.
I think you’re right, I don’t have a very good flute sample. Normally I stay away from cheapo samples, but I really wanted a flute there. I need a better flute or someone who can play it.
All the guitars (and electric bass) are played by me. So I could mess around with the guitar lead sound and record it again. I expect to get a real acoustic bass part sent to me soon to replace the midi part in the first half of the piece (second half being electric). I also hope to cajole my drummer buddy to replace the midi drums with real drums. That would help a lot, because he’s very good and very inventive. The rest of the parts are going to stay midi for this recording, I fear.
Again, thanks for spending the time to give it a good listen and share your ideas!
Sounds Awesome 
, really enjoyed that!
deangersmith, appreciate you taking the time to listen!
Hey Leon, that’s really lovely. great guitar, great playing throughout and a gorgeous arrangement. The way you play slightly unusual time signatures is awesome, sounds so natural and unforced.
When’s part 2 coming?
Steve.